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Written by newer member of HBF, garvan as the thread is in the Best of Happy Bachelors http://happybachelor.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=best&action=display&thread=5531

Why Marriage Is Never Coming Back

Before the modern age we lived in a time where resources were tough to come by, work needed muscle, and the threat of death by ANYTHING was large, people banded together for their own mutual survival.

Marriage was one of the ways that humans banded together.

Marriage wasn’t perfect, but it enabled a man and a woman to maximize their survival potential. This wasn’t a time where the big problems were coming home fifteen minutes late and missing your favourite show. Hell this wasn’t even a time where because dinner wasn’t made you might go hungry for a day. This was a time where at any moment you could die, a wild animal, an unknown disease, drought, a falling rock, or even another human. Life was not something taken for granted.

Marriage wasn’t happiness. Marriage was survival. Marriage was optimal in many ways. Marriage provided ways of passing wealth down biological lineage, support, and created new members in a society or tribe in a time where there were much less human beings.

Technology changed everything.

Those of us in the western world no longer have worry about our daily bread. We no longer need someone to wash our clothes. We no longer need protection from many of the problems of the past. While many of us work longer hours than many of our ancestors, we no longer need to work to survive.

Homeless people don’t starve en masse, I can’t say it’s the healthiest living, but it’s a hell of a lot better than living through some of the periods in which ANY food would have been a blessing. I myself know many homeless men and women who manage to get by through pan handling, soup kitchens, and charity work. What can I say, I get along quite well with street urchin.

This is of course not even taking into account the mass of people on welfare or disability.

We no longer live in a world where we need interpersonal relationships for physical survival. Marriage was no longer needed for daily survival.

Marriage, which once required for survival had become outdated. I can’t necessarily place when our technology had made our co-dependence unnecessary, however it most likely happened without us truly realizing it. The change wouldn’t have even been noticeable to most… it would have simply manifested itself as more free time to be spent how an individual wished.

People however were quite stuck in their ways and traditions. Marriage was still looked upon as an ideal to live to, even as more and more technology was given to the masses to free up more of their time.

We even got to a point where as humans, we had so MUCH free time we didn’t know how to spend it all. Television, video games, and all sorts of other media came out to entertain us as now BOREDOM became a larger worry than being killed.

In truth, marriage isn’t natural. It was survival optimization. Humans are masters of bending nature to suit our own survival.

In previous eras, hunting was the optimal way of getting food. If you were hungry, you’d better make damn sure you caught something, even a squirrel… even if it took hours.

If you went out in today’s world with a sharp stick and spent eight hours to kill some squirrels for a bit of nibbling, not only would people think you’re weird, you’d probably think yourself as an idiot since you could’ve easily spent those eight hours working to get some food at the store, and still have tons left over.

We’re now in the age where marriage is as optimal as hunting squirrels with a stick.

For women, survival really ISN’T dependant on a man. Though most women would much rather have a man give them stuff, women recognize they’re not going to die from not having a man around.

Most women truly weren’t meant for marriage, and that’s fine. It wasn’t their nature, as many studies have shown. Their nature in regards to men was hypergamous. But starvation, death and rape fears, not being able to raise their children due to lack of support… those sorts of things can make a woman repress her nature. Under the threat of death, a person will do many things that go against their nature. Mind you, a lot of the reason a woman is even able to do what she does now is because of the government’s laws giving her tons of advantage and support by taking it from hard working men… but now a woman doesn’t need any particular man as long as the masses subsidise her. Women only worked at making marriage work when they knew they’d be dead without it.

Now that marriage isn’t needed for survival, women can finally indulge in their true nature, and have been doing so by riding the cock carousel like we see now.

Men on the other hand are only adapting now.

A man is no longer are NEEDED to support any one woman. Any additional support that a man gives is taken for granted as really, she doesn’t have any immediate fears of being killed. However, men are still stuck in the same mating strategy of using support and their ability to provide to get women through marriage. It’s a strategy that may have worked when women were actually afraid of dying without a man… but the threat of death is no longer imminent enough to make a provider desirable.

Now it’s our turn to fucking realize, marriage is an outdated sub-optimal mating strategy, especially when women are more worried about being bored than being killed. As even common men, we’ve certainly got options (more so than ANY TIME in history), the question is what one will make you happy?

Game allows us to mate through giving women what they emotionally want. Mastery allows all access to a plethora of women.

Prostitution and escorts allow us to trade money (which some of us have in abundance) and trade it for an even greater plethora of women, minus the bitching and effort game requires.

Then for those who refuse to adapt and find happiness in this new system there are some countries which are still far enough behind where marriage is an optimal survival strategy. You can always find companionship there.

There’s the ghost option. Some people work best alone, and some of the greatest minds of our civilization never married or had sex.

Some others still have taken the virtual route, like in Japan with love pillows and dating sims, or in North America with real dolls. In next 50 years, the perfect robot companion may be waiting at home to serve you dutifully and make you happy.

Yeah, maybe civilization is crumbling. Maybe we’re reaching a new level. I’m not certain where the future is going… all I know is that I WANT TO MAKE ME HAPPY. Now, that marriage doesn’t make life easier, and women don’t NEED it, I don’t have to worry about anyone else but myself.

I can choose to live my life in my own choosing, and have little worries of death the same way my ancestors did, and that’s an awesome thing.

Now, are you going to hunt fucking squirrels with a goddamn stick caveman, or are you going to use the ability of adaptation like your ancestors before you had use to survive, and figure out what works for this time period for the survival of your own happiness?

The way is yours to choose.

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Written by toddturner in HBF. MGTOW means Men Going Their Own Way.

We often reflect that MGTOW delivers benefits in monetary terms. I have recently reflected upon another benefit: the second childhood.

I am now 42 and I went through puberty around 30 years ago. When I was 11 or 12, my life was a series of fun hobbies: backyard baseball, building model airplanes, fishing, coin and stamp collecting, etc. Basically nerdy stuff from a female perspective.

Then puberty hit, and I completely reordered my life in the pursuit of women. Whether consciously or unconsciously, all my major decisions were impacted by the question: “Is this going to make me more or less attractive to women?” The specifics aren’t important, but I engaged in numerous behaviors and activities that I didn’t enjoy—simply because they increased my chances of getting laid and winning female approval.

This continued through my twenties, with the attendant stress and wasted time. Women even dominated my leisure activity choices, as they do for many men. To cite one specific example: How many guys really enjoy going out to nightclubs? But most of us have been there because that is where the women are. Women enjoy those vacuous environments because there they can be the center of attention.

I gradually drifted into an MGTOW lifestyle from age 30 forward, after having some relationships with women and coping with their constantly evolving needs and desires. As I’ve shared on here before, my sex drive isn’t exhausted yet, and I do make occasional use of escort services (who are generally cheaper and nicer than their non-commercial counterparts). However, I haven’t been on a “date” since 2001. I don’t go out of my way to offend women, but nor do I worry about impressing them anymore.

What I have discovered is that the long dormant and suppressed 12-year-old is coming out again. By this I don’t mean childish behavior; but the simple enthusiasm for hobbies and interests that are only possible *before* you start to notice women.

I have also rediscovered male friendships–another facet of life before puberty. I’m not talking about anything queer here, but simply the fact that male friendships are often neglected when men hit puberty and the pursuit of women becomes the priority.

I actually have less stress in my life at 42 than I did at 25 or 30. By contrast, my married friends are constantly stressed and financially strapped. In addition, few of them enjoy sex very much with their middle-aged spouses.

Obviously, I wish I could have connected these dots thirty years ago. But better late than never, I suppose.

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Written by longshot39 in HBF

Looking at all of the stories of divorce and how it messes up the lives of men, I’ve drawn a certain correlation. Think of someone who’s addicted to meth, crack, cocaine, heroin, or some other addicting drug. The person will do just about anything to get that drug, they will ruin their finances, lie and cheat friends and family, and often end up homeless.

A man in a serious relationship to the point where a woman moves in with them for a long enough period of time, can have symptoms VERY similar to that of a junkie, only worse. How is it worse, you might ask?

A person that eventually quits a dangerous drug might still have cravings, but once they’ve kicked the habit, the drug does no further damage. A man who gets divorced, often pays for child support, alimony, etc., long after he quits “cold turkey.” The junkie, once they start to rehabilitate themselves, also get support, sympathy, and encouragement.

The divorced man ( except on sites like this ) get nothing of the sort from society, though that man is also very damaged, and went through a life destroying event. In fact, he’s often ridiculed, and blamed for the divorce. For instance, him cheating makes him an unfaithful jerk, her cheating makes him someone who neglected his wife.

Also much like drugs, different people can have a stronger or weaker tolerance to women. There are some who can kick a woman to the curb the moment they get uppity, to those ( like myself ), who at least at one time were completely susceptible to women, and behave very much like an addict.

An addict to the point, that we have to ghost in and come back to sites like these to continue to reaffirm our choices, much like an alcoholic has to go to AA even after they’ve stopped drinking decades ago. Some have found the best way is to minimize contact with this addictive substance called woman, so we don’t become something worse than an addict, a mangina.

Don’t forget, even though we are all men going our own ways, in some ways we are all in this together. If forums like this save a few of us here and there, it’s well worth having. Just remember to treat women like you would any other dangerous drug.

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Posted in HBF by GGJake, the Administrator of HBF.

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hxxp://stevethornton.wordpress.com/2008/06/25/100-reasons-not-to-get-married/

100 Reasons Not to Get Married

Posted by stevethornton on June 25, 2008

This week we discuss the last of five “family matters” subjects in our Sunday gathering. And the last one is about singles, how to be single and satisfied. Sound like an oxymoron? Well it really is possible to be satisfied and single at the same time. My teaching on Sunday will offer some practical insight into how that might be possible. If you would like the entire message it can be accessed from relaxedchurch.com after June 30, 2008.

Meanwhile I want to introduce you to a list I happened to run across on Google Answers about reasons why not to get married. The list was compiled by Tutuzdad-ga – Google Answers Researcher. I love it. It is hilarious at some points and shockingly true at others. If you look closely there are a few numbers missing. They are the ones that were a little over the edge. Enjoy it and pass it on to any of your single friends or to your married ones who might wish they were single.

And if you have any additional reasons for not getting married that are not on the list, pass them on to us in the comment section.

“When you’re single…”

1.You get the whole couch to yourself.

2.There’s half as much housework, cooking, and cleaning to do.

3.You can watch whatever TV channel you like, without arguments.

4.You can get home from work at whatever time you like.

5.You get to eat the whole “meal for two” by yourself.

6.There are fewer important birthdays (spouse, kids, spouse’s parents,
etc) and no anniversaries to accidentally forget.

7.Without a spouse you have can still have a decent social life in your 30s.

8.You don’t keep catching every sniffle, cold and flu bug that your
spouse brings home.

9.You don’t have to live halfway between your workplace and your
spouse’s workplace.

10.Once you’re married most of your friends will also be married, and
coincidentally (like you, if you marry) they will mostly be staying
home with their own spouse’s instead of hanging out with you.

11.You can lie in bed in the morning for as long as you like.

12.Nobody sees what you look like first thing in the morning.

13.No soap operas (of sports shows, depending on male vs. female perhaps)

14.You can throw your dirty socks on the floor where they belong.

15.There’s no pressure to make the bed in the morning

16.You don’t have to worry about what the bathroom smells like when
you walk out of it.

17.You know where the bar of soap has been

18.You don’t have to put out Christmas lights if you don’t want to

19.When you’re single the lawn looks a lot better when the grass is longer

20.No one snores

21.Folding clothes?….No thank you

22.There’s no fight for remote control ownership.

23.Smelly socks and skiddy underwear are not that big of an issue when
you’re only washing your own.

24.On your way out you know that you’re shoes are right where you took
them off yesterday.

25.We can stay in the shower as long as we want and don’t have to
worry about conserving hot water for a spouse (or kids).

26.You can do laundry – or not.

27.You don’t have to shave if you don’t want to.

28.You don’t have to share your razor with anyone

29.You don’t have to buy Valentines/birthday/Mother’s day cards.

30.You won’t have anyone saying ‘you’re not going to wear that, are you?’

31.If your married and no fashion sense your spouse thinks you’re a
moron. If you’re single and have no fashion sense people think you are
eccentric.

32.Burning the food is not a big deal.

33.You’re not as accountable to anyone – if I want to do something, I just do it!

34.If you mess up your finances you have no one to blame but yourself.

35.You ALWAYS know EXACTLY how much is in your checking account.

36.You get the whole bed to yourself.

37.You can watch a late show on the bedroom TV and no one complains.

38.There are no unexplainable moods to contend with.

39.You have much more freedom to choose.

40.If there’s dribble on your pillow you know where it came from.

41.You never have to say where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing.

42.There’s no curfew.

43.You never have to hide anything in your shopping cart under other stuff.

44.You can spend all you want or all you have – it doesn’t matter.

45.You never have to worry about saying what you think, or having to
pretend you’re thinking something that you’re not.

46.You can be rude if that’s in you’re nature.

47.You can eat what YOU want.

48.You can join a gym because you want to, not because your spouse is
embarrassed by the way you look.

49.If you get fired from work you’re not considered a loser – just unemployed.

50.You can have friends over who behave outrageously whenever you want.

51.You don’t have to worry about what sort of food to buy and you can
eat whatever you want, whenever you choose.

53.You can listen to your favorite tunes in the house or in the car
and no one fiddles with the station or complains about your taste in
music.

54.You can spend all night on the phone without having to justify it.

55.You can go to bed when you please – or not.

56.You can read all night if you want to.

57.No one criticizes the condition of your car or expects you to wash it.

58.There’s plenty of space in the closet.

59.You don’t have to pretend that you’re interested in what happened
to your spouse at work today.

60.When you’re single there is a LOT less drama in your life!

61.You can make a mess – and leave it that way.

62.You can drink wine out of a bottle or milk right out of the jug
whenever you like.

63.You don’t have to write cards on anyone’s behalf for birthdays or Christmas.

64.You don’t have to excuse your behavior to a spouse.

65.You can pass gas at will.

66.When you’re single your opinion is always the best opinion.

67.You never have disagreements with what a spouse when you’re single.

68.When you’re single you can enjoy great performances of gay
musicians and actors without getting that “eye-rolling” thing from
your spouse.

69.You don’t have to listen to your spouse pant every time their
favorite actor or musician comes on the television.

70.When you’re single you can flush – or not.

71.You can put the lid up or put the lid down – it’s up to you.
Whatever you did last is exactly how it will be when you return next
time – just the way you like it.

72.Dragon breath in the morning is no big deal when you’re single.

73.If you’re single you can eat right out of the refrigerator and no one cares.

74.You don’t have to share ANYTHING with ANYONE.

75.No in-laws (this one speaks for itself)

76.Las Vegas is back on the list of vacation considerations.

77.Grow your nails, cut your nails – it doesn’t matter.

78.Pajamas or not – doesn’t matter.

79.Sweatpants and baggy shirt – no one cares.

80.The best parking spot is ALWAYS yours for the taking.

81.Cooking your own meals never ceases to be an adventure, and never
starts becoming punishment.

83.When you’re single you can paint the town instead of the house.

84.When you get home after work, you don’t have to start work again.

85.You can tell people you’re single and not have to lie about it.

86.You’ll never have to trade your interest in miniskirts for minivans.

87.You’ll save about $400,000 in grocery bills alone over the next 20
years if you stay single.

88.College? You didn’t pay for yours so why would you volunteer to pay
for someone else’s?

89.When you’re single you get to keep ALL the money.

90.When you’re single you get to hold the actual credit card and not just the bill.

94.You can use your own name at hotels.

95.When you’re single you can tell the person criticizing your driving
to “get out!”

96.When asked for their opinion, a single person can say “Yeah…you ARE fat!”.

97.When you’re single you can lick the spoon and keep on stirring like
nothing happened.

98.When you’re single you never miss all the things you used to be
able to do before you got married.

99.Married people with gray hair are thought of as old and tired, but
single people with gray hair are considered wise and distinguished.

100.Finally, when you’re single you can enjoy the silence any time you want

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If you are a bachelor, and want to stay as a happy bachelor, go here http://happybachelor.proboards.com/ or just click on to the blogroll on the right of the main page of the blog. In the future, I will sometimes refer the short form of the Happy Bachelors Forum as HBF. The forum is currently for members only as everyone is free to register to the forum.

Guys, if you ever been pressured to marry but don’t want to go here http://happybachelor.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=divorce

I will post stuff from time to time what is interesting that was published in HBF onto this blog.

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My first post of this blog dedicated to being and living a life as a happy bachelor. The Happy Bachelors Forum is for all bachelors and MGTOW(Men Going Their Own Way).

http://happybachelor.proboards.com

The Administrator of Happy Bachelors.

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