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Archive for July, 2010

Happy Bachelors or happybachelors is on Twitter. I will be updating it more often on Twitter. You may follow selected updated posts about the Happy Bachelors Forum http://twitter.com/happybachelors

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New update July 31, 2010. Happy Bachelors is on Facebook as well. http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=123202807725577

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Written by edred30 in HBF

True story.

This goes to show that some things the old man says actually sink in to a 15 year old’s skull.

I was sitting around yesterday with my son and two of his pals. They were going about their business as if I wasn’t there.

One of his buddies (we’ll call Aron), as well as my son, have gotten numerous lectures on the nature of the female. A lot came from the wisdom on this site.

The other friend (we’ll call Preston), who isn’t around as much, got a surprise when he brought up a certain topic. The conversation went like this, almost verbatim:

Son: I’m saving up for such and such video game so I’ll have the money when it comes out.

Preston: I don’t have any money for video games. Some guys spend all their money on girls.

Son and Aron (simultaneously): Laughs. You’re spending your money on girls? Dude, you’re retarded. The chicks are laughing at you behind your back saying “he’s a real sucker”. If she was gonna do you, she’d do you. You’re flushing your money down the crapper.

Preston just sat there dumbfounded.

The boys made the old man proud. And maybe P will think twice before wasting his money.

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This was written in the HBF as a reply by bothrops of thread started by oldschoolbmx37 “I’m a feminist with opinions and I swear a lot ”

Written and thread started by by oldschoolbmx37


Just another few minutes spent browsing POF.

Works great you feel lonely… you see what you do NOT want to get involved with. I feel like a million bucks again!

Replied by bothrops

LOL! I like POF for a laugh and it is a good deterrent. I also like to try to decipher what it is they are actually saying. They are actually telling you the truth it is just coded.

I am a good girl now

Translation: I fucked every guy from here to Timbuktu who smiled at me.. You however are going to have to ply me with expensive dates before you even get a peek. I will make you wait a few dates minimum so you don’t think I am a whore. Tee-hee.

I am opinionated” ,”I will say what I think to your face

Translation: I am a fucking idiot. I have no social tact and I am missing that part of my brain that regulates inhibition. I am a foul loud-mouthed bitch.

“Athletic”,”Rubenesque”,”Curvy”,”A little Extra”,”extra [padding”,”not a barbie”,”baby weight”,BBW

Translation: Fat,fat,fat,fat,fat,fat,fat with stretch marks and land whale

“Tired of playing games”

Translation:I have a kid or I am damaged goods. I may also have psychological problems so severe I cannot keep anyone around longer than a one night stand. I would play the games if I could and will definitely be playing them on your ass. Call me!

“I can drink like a man”,”I like sports”,”Can hang with the guys”

Translation: I am a gross pig. I have no idea how to act like a woman much less a lady. I do like to drink but don’t really care about sports. I will only feign interest in your activities long enough to wiggle my way into your life. You gonna finish that beer?

“I am a tomboy”

Translation: Just like the “I like sports line” I think this is something you guys want to hear. When this online dating thing started a few women out of a million were actually tomboys or liked sports and we noticed that got mens attention. Now we are all tomboys and ass kicking rambos. Call us!

“I am a single mom”,”My children are the main focus in my life”,”My kids come first”

Translation: I made a mistake. Ok a series of mistakes that left me with mouth(s) to feed. Help me pay for my mistakes! My children really are the light of my life. I always make sure to drop them off at my mom’s before I go hit the clubs. I would like a wallet,er man to finance er…um date me. About the time you get attached to my kid I will start screwing other guys.

“I am not a girly girl”

Translation:[See tomboy and also drinking like a man.] I am very much a girly girl except I do not cook,clean or do anything a woman should know how to do. This term is also deceptive as I am so emotionally unstable (aka girly) that I will scream and cry at the drop of a hat. I can’t wait for you to do something wrong so I can complain about it for months.

“Need a real man”, “Where are all the good men?”

Translation: I am a smart,sophisticated woman who is not a girly girl. None of you wimps will look past my bitchiness and permascowl and ask me out. I want someone to open doors and do my bidding for me. Looking for a REAL man to treat me like the real lady I am not.

“Smart”,”Sophisticated”,”educated”,”Upwardly mobile”

Translation: I went to college and you should have too if you you want to fuck me. What? You are an aircraft mechanic? You make more than I do in my quasi-executive job? I don’t care! I don’t date retards. I need a man to pay off my student loans and finance that McMansion I always dreamed of. How can I brag to my friends about your PhD and the Ivy League school you went to if you never got past community college? Also please note I only want to work a few more years so then I can stay home with our children. Let’s meet at an alumni event!

“Tired of players,liars,cheaters and fakes”

Translation: I am actually all of the above but now my looks are fading or I have a kid. This is why I no longer like games at the moment because I just lost at playing them. All of them.

“I’m sweet, smart, compassionate, empathetic, hard-working, an awesome mom,”

Translation: See: Tired of players. See: I am a single mom.

“Not sure what I am looking for”, “Is this for real?”,”Just looking!”

Translation: Just seeing how many guys will respond. If you are rich as Bill Gates and as good looking as Brad Pitt I MIGHT reply. Probably not. Ego boost for me either way. Message me.

” I am outdoorsy”,”I like camping”,”A country girl”

Translation: I went running in a park once so I totally know how that guy felt when he climbed that big mountain. Everready was it?
Anyway I don’t really like outdoors and the only camping we will be doing is at the Hilton. I mean there is all that dirt and bugs and no indoor plumbing. Gross! Small spiders scare me as does anything that looks like a bug.

“I like operas”,”I like fine dining”,”trips”,”travel”,”museums”,”finer things”,etc.

Translation: No romance without finance! You must have a wallet big enough to satisfy me. I can drain even the biggest within a night and then it is on to the next. And no-I know nothing about art nor do I appreciate fine culture. I just like to spend your money and then brag about it to my friends.

“All my friends have settled down”,”Am looking for long-term”

Translation: I am a bit older and things aren’t going so well. I am the last of all my bitch friends to get married and this irks me to no end. When will I get my own man slave? It is not FAIR! I want my perfect white wedding with the perfect music in the perfect spot and I want it NOW NOW NOW! I am also tired of paying for everything by myself. Won’t you help me shoulder my burden of debt?

[“I am a princess””Prince charming””I am a queen”


Translation: You had better be a real prince because you are going to need a castle and army to put up with my level of crazy. I put the ‘E’ in entitlement. It is my way everytime. You of course WILL pay for it without being told and if something goes wrong it WILL be your fault. No ifs,ands or buts. I deserve nothing but the best but nothing you provide will EVER be good enough. I also like to withhold sex for the smallest infraction so you better like walking on eggshells. I am quite good at screaming and I like to do it often so I hope you will appreciate that. For now I will wait in my room for you to whisk me away to my fairy- tale fantasy in the land of happily never after. Tee-hee.

I would like to thank all the crazy women on POF for giving me these real lines to translate.

I am thinking of making a POF bingo card with all the codes. We could all see how many are in our immediate area.


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Written by modelautoman in HBF

Greetings Gentlemen,

A few years back when I first started working at a
plumbing supply warehouse there was this one
driver there, Tom (not his real name) who stated
to me that the best place to find a woman was church.
He stated that when he asked me if I was married
or dating anyone and I told him no. I thought, What
makes this guy an expert on where one should meet
a woman? This guy was himself no church-goer or
Christian for that matter and him telling me that church
was the best place to find a woman was way-off base
with this guy. In fact I have seen him look at porno mags
and one time nearly tricked me into it.

This guy was in my opinion nothing more than a well-
-meaning busybody or at worst a man#!&@ who was
unhappy in his marriage and wanted me that way.
And church is not the best place to find a woman
and this brings me to the topic.

I thought about the statement Tom made that time and
that got me to thinking about women and the church.
Of course there are women in church, that’s obvious.
But in a really good and traditional church (mine is as
close to that as it can get this day and age) most
of the women are married and the younger ones are
too young (well for me anyway) and I will not touch
minors. I certainly don’t want any child bride.
The young girls in my church are now coming of age
and these girls would fit the good ones who’d get
snatched up rather quickly as stated many a times
on this board. But I am not going to be the one to
snatch one of them because I think to make a good
Christian marriage work the young lady must meet
a young man and one who is also going in the same
spiritual direction as her, and vice-versa.

And here is something else I believe is noteworthy,
the young women in question come from God-fearing
Christian families and I don’t believe my spirituality
could even match theirs’ because I didn’t get saved
nor even find the Word of God until I was 32 years-old.
I became a Christian late in life and I am not even from
a Christian family. That and certain other issues which
I won’t get into now. So no, I believe I am single for
life. My chances to find a good woman? I blew that
all sky-high a long time ago. Read my old posts if you
want to know more. Its no longer worth repeating.

Now as to any church which does have an abundance
of young, single women, (and I have been to those that
did) I tend to question that church’s teaching. Women are
more likely to want to have their ears tickled (sugar-coated
or watered-down preaching) than men so yes that church
is bound to have an abundance of young single women in
it. But that doesn’t make them any more spiritual. Their
spirituality certainly won’t match mine. I may as well
be unequally yoked with non-believers. It is in fact these
megachurches that have the abundance of women in them.
Feel-good sermons and prosperity theology has always
been appealing to women, especially in these times.

Guys like Tom have it all wrong as far as church being the
best place for me to find a girlfriend/wife. Then again, he
didn’t really know my whole reason for being unattached at
my stage in life. I suppose church would be a great place
if I found Christ at a much younger age, but such isn’t the
case. Oh well, that’s the breaks and that’s the cross I
bear.

In fact I am glad for the rarity of young, unattached women
in my church, that means the pastor is preaching the Word
as he is supposed to and less chance of me lusting.

Until next time,

Modelautoman

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Written by longshot39 in HBF

Looking at all of the stories of divorce and how it messes up the lives of men, I’ve drawn a certain correlation. Think of someone who’s addicted to meth, crack, cocaine, heroin, or some other addicting drug. The person will do just about anything to get that drug, they will ruin their finances, lie and cheat friends and family, and often end up homeless.

A man in a serious relationship to the point where a woman moves in with them for a long enough period of time, can have symptoms VERY similar to that of a junkie, only worse. How is it worse, you might ask?

A person that eventually quits a dangerous drug might still have cravings, but once they’ve kicked the habit, the drug does no further damage. A man who gets divorced, often pays for child support, alimony, etc., long after he quits “cold turkey.” The junkie, once they start to rehabilitate themselves, also get support, sympathy, and encouragement.

The divorced man ( except on sites like this ) get nothing of the sort from society, though that man is also very damaged, and went through a life destroying event. In fact, he’s often ridiculed, and blamed for the divorce. For instance, him cheating makes him an unfaithful jerk, her cheating makes him someone who neglected his wife.

Also much like drugs, different people can have a stronger or weaker tolerance to women. There are some who can kick a woman to the curb the moment they get uppity, to those ( like myself ), who at least at one time were completely susceptible to women, and behave very much like an addict.

An addict to the point, that we have to ghost in and come back to sites like these to continue to reaffirm our choices, much like an alcoholic has to go to AA even after they’ve stopped drinking decades ago. Some have found the best way is to minimize contact with this addictive substance called woman, so we don’t become something worse than an addict, a mangina.

Don’t forget, even though we are all men going our own ways, in some ways we are all in this together. If forums like this save a few of us here and there, it’s well worth having. Just remember to treat women like you would any other dangerous drug.

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Written by ZenKing. Reposted in Happy Bachelors for everyone to read.

I thought I would set down a “rough guide” for men thinking about starting a relationship with a single mom and what some of the ramifications are of dating and entering into a deeper relationship with a single mom could be. Of course this guide does not apply to all women or all men but it will list the main problems I have observed through over the years.

Contrary to popular media-myth I have yet to meet a single mom who was career driven, carefree, balanced, happy; doing it all type gal as often portrayed in most media outlets. The reality I have seen over the years is usually a stressed out, overworked, debt stricken woman who really had no idea children cost so much in time, effort and money. Their careers are on hold as they need to balance their child with sickness, school activities etc… versus moving up whatever career ladder they are on. Most single moms are raising their children with help of an extended family member (usually their mom), a bevy of friends and other single moms they find in support groups. It is usually not a pretty picture at all.

Somewhere along the way, usually quite quickly they come up with the idea that they need a “partner” to help them in their new enterprise of having a child and the sooner they can get one the better. Realizing they have a bit of a disadvantage with having a child and being in the dating scene they resort to several well known strategies to get a partner.

One of the first strategies is to engage men who do not have children of their own. This allows the woman to portray the semblance of having and raising a kid is easy and there will always be a balance between their relationship with their partner and their child. Sometimes they will portray themselves as helpless victims, victimized by an evil and absent father – they need saving and you can save them. Another popular scheme is to make themselves look accomplished and together by extending their debt to ridiculous levels to portray they are all right and don’t really need a partner. There are quite a few more, but like I said, this is a rough guide.

One of the strategies is to involve the child with the prospective “partner” almost right away and foster a relationship between the man and her child. This allows a lot of leverage on several levels as time goes by. It allows for huge amount of guilt and shame if the man wants to break off the relationship, allows a bonding to take place that is hard to shuck off and other factors… You will hear phrases such as “any man who loves me must love my children!” etc…All designed to appeal to a mans sense of chivalry and protection. This hopefully facilitates a sense of belonging together and in the end marriage.

Most single men are unaware of what is going on when they start to date a single mom. It seems that the child is around, but it is pleasant, there is a clear distinction between adult and child time etc… it seems actually for most men, not a bad time at all. This allows the single mom to get the man closer and farther into the relationship.
What is really going on is a shit-load of help from the single moms friends and other helpers. Tons of babysitting services, tips on dating, comparing notes and plans etc… No matter what you see as a man there is something else going on – do not forget that. Her plan is to eventually get a partner one way or another. You are the prize and she is going to earn it.

One trait that seems to come to the forefront with most men who are dating single moms is just how wonderful a woman they really are. Most men cannot for the life of them figure out why another man would abandon a woman like her. It has been stated hat single moms are more caring, compassionate, great lovers, excellent cooks, laugh at all your jokes etc…they seem to be ideal mates.

What is actually going on is well planned and orchestrated strategies to get a man into a relationship. I don’t know how many men have loudly complained that after marriage they were suddenly now doing most of the cooking, cleaning, and repairing around the house with zero time like they had before. I don’t know how many have said it was like night and day after they moved in. The kind compassionate woman the men met had some how now been replaced by a truly different woman, it was like another personality type than the one they married. In short a single mom knows she has to work harder to get a man and she will work harder, but for many the act cannot last that long and the real woman reveals herself. Usually his occurs just after marriage.

A lot of men though go for it and involve themselves in marriage with a single mom and do not really know some of the problems they will encounter. Here is a short list of several common problems that begin to creep up:

1. Being a “partner” means you get to pay for half- if not more. I have noticed after marriage a single mom works at dizzying speed to make sure her mans name is on all of the bills. She also will usually demand money also for a huge amount of her child’s expenses. It is also expressed as a part of “loving her and showing it”. I have seen men putting money away for college for a kid that’s not his. Buying ridiculous amounts of brand name clothes, expensive homes etc… all in an effort to be in a so-called “family”.

2. The Family you just got into is by invitation only. In most traditional marriages that produce children, the man, woman and child or children make up he basic family unit. In being a step- parent you are not the basic unit. The mother and child together are the basic unit. You are invited in and can be un-invited whenever mom feels it to be so. No matter what is said or mentioned before marriage, you will never come before her child. You will always be in a family and relationship where you come second, maybe third.

3. No matter what you think… her ex is going to be there forever. In just about every case the child’s father does not seem to be in the picture during the dating and courtship stage but seems to suddenly show up after. The reality is he was always there, your partner just never mentioned it…. The father will most naturally want to have a relationship with his child and he is going to be quite involved most of the time. Just about every time you will be dragged into the endless bickering and fights they have and you will not be liked by him…its only natural remember… also be sure to take into account the grandparents, uncles and aunts and all the family functions you will be attending with him, his child, his ex (your partner) and his side of the family. Get used to being uncomfortable.

4. Her kid will most likely not like you very much. Let’s face it you’re sleeping with their mom and most of the time the child will see you as a roadblock to his parents getting back together. Most likely the mom has made you the giver of discipline in the relationship, being the man and all…which results in the kid hating you. Or after watching the child run amok for weeks after you arrive you change juniors’ schedule to include some discipline and then you also hated even more. An amazing amount of men involved with single mothers report how the child hates them, but he can keep buying gifts to try to win their affection. Some call it the ATM effect of diminishing returns.

5. All that time you had together with your new love will end after marriage. The number one job of a single mom is simply to be a mom. She is not a party girl, hiker, camper, biker, clubber etc… Just be prepared for a frontal assault on your time and money after marriage. You will find your weekdays taken up with homework, PTA meetings, suppers at home, and early bed times. Weekends will be the time for the child’s extra-curricular activities and other activities. If a single man is wondering what happens ask any father of children how their time is spent, it will not be on hobbies. You will hear endlessly the phrase “we are a family now and this is what a family does” of course your idea on family will differ…but it is her family and she will make the choices.

6. You will wonder what happened to all your money. Most men involved with a single mom report that their money seems to dry up. Children are expensive- expensive like most men have no idea. Between school supplies, clothing, vast amounts of food, babysitters if you ever want to go out, medications, fees, sports, supplies, toys and such… well, there will be little left.
As a footnote there is also another ploy by some single moms that men also forget about. The child’s father is paying for a lot of these things. Quite a few men have reported that their wife or girlfriend was getting them to pay for such things as sport fees, equipment, university funds, school supplies and such but at the same time getting the child’s father to pay for these things also. Double billing, also called fraud, is quite common but it does allow the single mom to have almost zero expenses for her child as two men are now paying for junior….
Another ploy that is quite horrific was a man whose wife owned a home and he moved in with her and her child. Although he fixed it up, paid half the mortgage and expenses- she had willed the home to her children. When confronted she said since she would be dead she did not care if he had a home or not, her child came first. So be careful with matters of money. Very careful.

7. You will never really be accepted. I have observed time and time again the heartbreak of a step parent as the child gets older. After putting them through school, providing a place to live, food, getting the child all kinds of gifts and honestly really caring about the child and such I keep hearing this one story over and over. The time comes for a grad or a wedding, the step parent thinks he might be lauded for his sacrifices but instead is shunted to a back seat or not invited as the child invites mom and dad to the party…and thanks them for all their love and work. Usually there is not even an acknowledgement of effort.

8. You will now be part of the single moms’ network. Be prepared to help out all her buddies as they helped her out. Endless weekends and nights of babysitting the other single moms kids so that they too may date and get a man. You will also discover why 75% of all people in jail come from single mother households. Try not to have any expensive items around…

9. Now that the single mom is now married she will need to impress her single mom friends with her new found happiness. Her happiness will usually include a new home in a good neighbourhood, new clothing, new items for the home, new car etc… there is an unwritten law it seems among a lot of single moms that they compete ruthlessly with their friends. If she does get married she needs to show them her new found prestige. Be prepared for huge new expenses.

10. You will have no time for errors. A lot of single men get involved with the single mom and her kids when the child is a bit older. Being inexperienced with children becomes a huge burden as the single man has no time to learn parenting skills…and mistakes are not readily forgiven nor forgotten when a kid is 4 compared to 14.

11. You may think it ends, but it never does. I know many men whose single mom wife promised them a completely different life after junior turned 18 or so. At the beginning of the relationship it looked like just a few years and then total privacy and freedom. Then years later they found out that junior is going to go to university for 6 years after taking a gap year off and not worry about a job as he will live at home. After that the story usually is that the child gets married and has kids and needs a ton of babysitting services. The dream of trips abroad, moving to a nicer place etc… evaporates for most men. They just wind up being early grandparents. The other option that happens a lot is the girls have children early and stay at home. Not only is the man taking care of his wife’s child he also has to care for her grandchild now!

12. You will have nothing to show for it. In the end when most men have their own children the work and effort is well worth it. The men did their best and raised a family, continued a line, get grandchildren…etc… As a step-parent you have contributed as much but you have nothing. Nobody carries on your name and most men realize they are not even ever thanked for their sacrifice.

13. The legalities can kill you. There have been numerous cases where a man has divorced or left a single mom and then found himself liable financially for her child. Although not the father he will be responsible for child payments, extra fees and most certainly university far after they are 18….check the laws out, it’s a raw deal. Couple that with some alimony and you get the whole effect of being a divorced and homeless dad with not one child of your own….
In the end women have asked for their freedom to make their own choices now for decades. I would advise all single men to let single moms make their choice of having a child by themselves and then live with it. Don’t involve yourself with these women under any circumstances. It can be in many ways, the death of a man.
Well it’s a rough guide and you were warned….

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Written by hhb in HBF

1. Do not fight the system. You will lose and the system is totally fucked up.

2. Never disclosed the essence of your personal beliefs and values to anyone, especially to women. Live in stealth mode. Tell people what they want to hear.

3. Never trust a woman that is nice to you. Remember, that all women want something.

4. Never discuss politics, MRA, economics, religion with anyone. Remember, the public is full of non-thinking idiots that parrots sound bites.

5. Be the best you can be at all times. Learn new skills. Show people that you are the best.

6. Never lose control or patience with women. View all women as you would with the same disgust as you would of homosexual males. Remember, most women are mediocre people at best.

7. Never be afraid to get rid of old friends.

8. Stay in shape with exercise.

9. Keep a positive outlook no matter what happens. Never get mad or have rage against anyone or anything it is not worth it. Most people do not have an impact on your life.

10. Avoid television and pop culture at all costs.

11. Avoid single mothers with kids like the plague.

12. Never do any harm. Let others live in their own misery.

13. Never have sex with women. A woman’s vagina is a cesspool of disease and filth. Today’s independent women have the same amount of STD’s and HIV as the average prostitute.

14. Never get married. The little sex you will receive does not outweigh the aggravation and financial ruin that will eventually happen.

15. Learn to be happy living by yourself. Stay busy.

16. Develop a mission in life.

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