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Archive for November, 2009

Posted in HBF by GGJake, the Administrator of HBF.

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hxxp://stevethornton.wordpress.com/2008/06/25/100-reasons-not-to-get-married/

100 Reasons Not to Get Married

Posted by stevethornton on June 25, 2008

This week we discuss the last of five “family matters” subjects in our Sunday gathering. And the last one is about singles, how to be single and satisfied. Sound like an oxymoron? Well it really is possible to be satisfied and single at the same time. My teaching on Sunday will offer some practical insight into how that might be possible. If you would like the entire message it can be accessed from relaxedchurch.com after June 30, 2008.

Meanwhile I want to introduce you to a list I happened to run across on Google Answers about reasons why not to get married. The list was compiled by Tutuzdad-ga – Google Answers Researcher. I love it. It is hilarious at some points and shockingly true at others. If you look closely there are a few numbers missing. They are the ones that were a little over the edge. Enjoy it and pass it on to any of your single friends or to your married ones who might wish they were single.

And if you have any additional reasons for not getting married that are not on the list, pass them on to us in the comment section.

“When you’re single…”

1.You get the whole couch to yourself.

2.There’s half as much housework, cooking, and cleaning to do.

3.You can watch whatever TV channel you like, without arguments.

4.You can get home from work at whatever time you like.

5.You get to eat the whole “meal for two” by yourself.

6.There are fewer important birthdays (spouse, kids, spouse’s parents,
etc) and no anniversaries to accidentally forget.

7.Without a spouse you have can still have a decent social life in your 30s.

8.You don’t keep catching every sniffle, cold and flu bug that your
spouse brings home.

9.You don’t have to live halfway between your workplace and your
spouse’s workplace.

10.Once you’re married most of your friends will also be married, and
coincidentally (like you, if you marry) they will mostly be staying
home with their own spouse’s instead of hanging out with you.

11.You can lie in bed in the morning for as long as you like.

12.Nobody sees what you look like first thing in the morning.

13.No soap operas (of sports shows, depending on male vs. female perhaps)

14.You can throw your dirty socks on the floor where they belong.

15.There’s no pressure to make the bed in the morning

16.You don’t have to worry about what the bathroom smells like when
you walk out of it.

17.You know where the bar of soap has been

18.You don’t have to put out Christmas lights if you don’t want to

19.When you’re single the lawn looks a lot better when the grass is longer

20.No one snores

21.Folding clothes?….No thank you

22.There’s no fight for remote control ownership.

23.Smelly socks and skiddy underwear are not that big of an issue when
you’re only washing your own.

24.On your way out you know that you’re shoes are right where you took
them off yesterday.

25.We can stay in the shower as long as we want and don’t have to
worry about conserving hot water for a spouse (or kids).

26.You can do laundry – or not.

27.You don’t have to shave if you don’t want to.

28.You don’t have to share your razor with anyone

29.You don’t have to buy Valentines/birthday/Mother’s day cards.

30.You won’t have anyone saying ‘you’re not going to wear that, are you?’

31.If your married and no fashion sense your spouse thinks you’re a
moron. If you’re single and have no fashion sense people think you are
eccentric.

32.Burning the food is not a big deal.

33.You’re not as accountable to anyone – if I want to do something, I just do it!

34.If you mess up your finances you have no one to blame but yourself.

35.You ALWAYS know EXACTLY how much is in your checking account.

36.You get the whole bed to yourself.

37.You can watch a late show on the bedroom TV and no one complains.

38.There are no unexplainable moods to contend with.

39.You have much more freedom to choose.

40.If there’s dribble on your pillow you know where it came from.

41.You never have to say where you’ve been or what you’ve been doing.

42.There’s no curfew.

43.You never have to hide anything in your shopping cart under other stuff.

44.You can spend all you want or all you have – it doesn’t matter.

45.You never have to worry about saying what you think, or having to
pretend you’re thinking something that you’re not.

46.You can be rude if that’s in you’re nature.

47.You can eat what YOU want.

48.You can join a gym because you want to, not because your spouse is
embarrassed by the way you look.

49.If you get fired from work you’re not considered a loser – just unemployed.

50.You can have friends over who behave outrageously whenever you want.

51.You don’t have to worry about what sort of food to buy and you can
eat whatever you want, whenever you choose.

53.You can listen to your favorite tunes in the house or in the car
and no one fiddles with the station or complains about your taste in
music.

54.You can spend all night on the phone without having to justify it.

55.You can go to bed when you please – or not.

56.You can read all night if you want to.

57.No one criticizes the condition of your car or expects you to wash it.

58.There’s plenty of space in the closet.

59.You don’t have to pretend that you’re interested in what happened
to your spouse at work today.

60.When you’re single there is a LOT less drama in your life!

61.You can make a mess – and leave it that way.

62.You can drink wine out of a bottle or milk right out of the jug
whenever you like.

63.You don’t have to write cards on anyone’s behalf for birthdays or Christmas.

64.You don’t have to excuse your behavior to a spouse.

65.You can pass gas at will.

66.When you’re single your opinion is always the best opinion.

67.You never have disagreements with what a spouse when you’re single.

68.When you’re single you can enjoy great performances of gay
musicians and actors without getting that “eye-rolling” thing from
your spouse.

69.You don’t have to listen to your spouse pant every time their
favorite actor or musician comes on the television.

70.When you’re single you can flush – or not.

71.You can put the lid up or put the lid down – it’s up to you.
Whatever you did last is exactly how it will be when you return next
time – just the way you like it.

72.Dragon breath in the morning is no big deal when you’re single.

73.If you’re single you can eat right out of the refrigerator and no one cares.

74.You don’t have to share ANYTHING with ANYONE.

75.No in-laws (this one speaks for itself)

76.Las Vegas is back on the list of vacation considerations.

77.Grow your nails, cut your nails – it doesn’t matter.

78.Pajamas or not – doesn’t matter.

79.Sweatpants and baggy shirt – no one cares.

80.The best parking spot is ALWAYS yours for the taking.

81.Cooking your own meals never ceases to be an adventure, and never
starts becoming punishment.

83.When you’re single you can paint the town instead of the house.

84.When you get home after work, you don’t have to start work again.

85.You can tell people you’re single and not have to lie about it.

86.You’ll never have to trade your interest in miniskirts for minivans.

87.You’ll save about $400,000 in grocery bills alone over the next 20
years if you stay single.

88.College? You didn’t pay for yours so why would you volunteer to pay
for someone else’s?

89.When you’re single you get to keep ALL the money.

90.When you’re single you get to hold the actual credit card and not just the bill.

94.You can use your own name at hotels.

95.When you’re single you can tell the person criticizing your driving
to “get out!”

96.When asked for their opinion, a single person can say “Yeah…you ARE fat!”.

97.When you’re single you can lick the spoon and keep on stirring like
nothing happened.

98.When you’re single you never miss all the things you used to be
able to do before you got married.

99.Married people with gray hair are thought of as old and tired, but
single people with gray hair are considered wise and distinguished.

100.Finally, when you’re single you can enjoy the silence any time you want

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Marriage is the cradle of mediocrity

Posted in HBF by Rebel. Interesting replies if you go to that HBF thread.

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Marriage is the cradle of mediocrity.
Why Marriage is Bad for Men
By Mac Mcmann

Did you ever see a truly happily married man under the age of say sixty? I mean a real man, one that could help you move a couch, or run a software company. A real man has direction in his life, goals, ambitions; a real man takes the life given to him, and creates something that is a reflection of him. He uses all his abilities everyday, every way he can think of, and when he is done with his current task he moves on to another one. These men are rarely married, and even rarer happily married, they are the snow leopard compared to the house cat. And the reason these men are not married, is because marriage is confining, defining, and boring.

The biggest enemy to a life fulfilled is routine and boredom, ala marriage. Marriage is a trap laid early by society, misery loves company. The miserable peddle this lifestyle. Women lay the trap with lots of sex, good food, a clean bathroom, all can be yours, if you just get married, never again will you go without the gifts a woman can bring. The life seeking man recognizes those traps ahead of time. They are not the lions at the bottom of the pit with the slab of meat dangling precariously over it. They see the trap of marriage ahead of time, the trap of being snared and held up for public viewing with four walls around you.

Married men are on display, a zoo animal that does what he is told, eats when told, works when told, hell they even copulate when they are told. They try to make their little display the best of anyone they know. Look at me in my suburbia American dream, look at my house, look at my boat, and look at how my kid can pitch. Aren’t I doing great? Aren’t I?

And then there are men who do what they want, when they want. These are the men usually loathed by the domesticated men, loathed by the society at large, most of whom dwell in their cages. And then these men are later featured on 60 Minutes for what they have become when they re-write the rules of their particular endeavor. And they did it all without being bored, without being told what to do, and without being married to a woman who thinks it is her job to tame the beast, and churn out a carbon copy of the man in the next cul-de-sac.

Man can survive all sorts of tragedies and set backs in their time on Earth. But accepting boredom is accepting death. It is not greed, violence, jealousy, desire or any other trait but boredom that is the ultimate downfall of man. An unwillingness to fight boredom with the ferocity of a mother bear is acceptance of a life not worth living.

Marriage is the cradle of mediocrity and is beaten into our heads as the thing to do all our childhood. Grow up, fall in love, get a job, and then have kids. In our society marriage is the stage for child rearing. Boys don’t have real men in their home as role models. That is why boys idolize celebrities. They are starving for role models of success, of individualism, of vision and achievement, not someone who spends all day playing yes man, and then can’t even remember the hot sauce at the take out.

Unfortunately for many men they recognize the trappings, after the life of domesticity has firmly gripped their soul. Breaking away is not easy, but it is done on a frequent basis. The saddest thing to see is these men given their freedom at a huge financial cost, and then what do they do with their freedom? They go right back into another zoo, another cage, thinking it will be better with a different zoo keeper. But entrapment is entrapment, no better the quality of the trap.

Then these twice fooled creatures are seen lying to the world and to themselves saying that they are happily married. Like a trained poodle they jump through all the hoops their wife and boss put before him, after completing each trick they pant their little tongue, wag their little tail, and await the kibble for their little reward. Good doggie, good doggie, you play your cards right for the next six days, you might get some Saturday night. Or kiss up for the next seven years and you just might be Junior Executive. And all the while he holds his wife up like a trophy, his quality of entrapment defines him, as he trades up for the biggest cage.

He plays life like it is a monopoly game, go around and around and avoid landing on anything painful. He seeks comfort, safety, and sameness. And you can see it in his eyes, the boredom of a meaningless game, playing by rules he didn’t invent.

The choice is each of ours, on the one hand you have certain boredom until death, and on the other you have the unknown. Not monopoly but a pirate’s adventure, things can go wrong, there can be pain, there can be real fear, but there will never be boredom.

Unfortunately most men choose the boredom without really knowing the alternative was so obvious. Does the snow leopard want the one sure meal at the cost of his freedom, or would he rather starve in a blizzard seeking the last rabbit in his territory. The choice is yours.

hxxp://dontmarry.wordpress.com/2009/06/19/marriage-is-the-cradle-of-mediocrity/

That says it all, doesn’t it? ;D

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Posted by Evergreen, a former member in HBF as he got it from Travelguideformen. Great to share for those who wants to meet foreign women and I suggest all to go to that Travelguideformen website that is posted a link within this article.

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The KEY to hooking up in Brazil or any lower tier nation…

If you’re a guy who is only looking for flings and just wants to
hook up with attractive girls on your trip, and I could only
utter two words to you before you left for Brazil, it would
be these two words:

BE AGGRESSIVE…

Before I get into the details, I need you to understand while
this article mainly applies to Brazil, it also applies to lesser
degrees in other countries like Colombia, Venezuela, Dominican
Republic, Peru, Costa Rica and pretty much any country located
within South East Asia, Eastern Europe, and Latin America.

But when it comes to Brazil, this applies 100%.

So what do I mean by being aggressive?

I mean that if you see a girl flirt with you or give you a compliment
or two, that means you go in for the kiss! Yeah I know it sounds
like a perfect plan to get shot down, but remember, this is Brazil,
not your home town back in the USA, Canada, or Western Europe.

Let me tell you a little story…

A few years back, on one of my first trips to Brazil, I was in Brazil,
and my Brazilian friend were out and he goes, “Hey, my friend
thinks you are cute, you should go for her.” I go, “Alright, for sure,
I will.” I had literally just met the girl when he said this. So I started
talking to her, thinking I would have to talk to her a bit, and try to
win her over. After 5 minutes, my friend goes, “Why haven’t you
kissed her yet?” I go, “Man, I just met her 5 minutes ago.” My
friend goes, “No, here in Brazil, if a girl likes you, you don’t have
to sit there and work on it, just go for the kiss.”

I’ve had similar experiences in Colombia and other Latin American
Countries. You see, the thing is that since the whole environment in
these places is stacked up in the men’s favor. The men don’t have time
to play games. If the girl plays hard to get, the guys just move on to
the next attractive girl that’s not going to play games. The women
therefore learn, through experience, that they have to flirt more
and not be so uptight… If a guy makes a move she knows that she
can’t just shoot him down, because there are so many other attractive
women around that she would lose him to the other foxes.

I’m reminded of a Colombian girl I met here in the United States about
two years ago. She was working in my office and I ran into her at
the pantry and we shot up a conversation. I asked her for her phone
number and we started to hang out after work. This girl was 25 and had
just arrived from Colombia six months prior to me meeting her.

One day while we were hanging out after work, she told me something
that sticks in my mind to this day. She said that she had noticed, that
American men are “soft”.

What she meant is that American men are not as aggressive as the
Colombians she was use to back in Colombia. Colombian guys, just like
Brazilian guys are more aggressive…

The whole reason for this is that American men live in tough
environments where attractive girls are not a dime a dozen but more
like diamonds in the rough. These attractive women get hit on too much
and they end up shooting a lot of guys down… I know because I’ve been
shot down so many times here I lost count.

This tends to make us American men less prone to be aggressive because
of all the negative feedback we’ve gotten throughout our lives. The same
applies to our fellow men in Australia, Canada, and Western Europe.

The KEY is to REMEMBER that places like Brazil, are different.
Everything is in your favor. Go for the kiss. You have a higher chance
of success here then any other place on the planet.
If it doesn’t work out? Guess what? You have an almost endless supply
of attractive women to pick from… It can’t get any better then that…

[i]I got this from a old email newsletter I subscribed from http://www.travelguideformen.com%5B/i%5D

Same author…

Mentality: Power and Leverage In The Lower Tiers

Upper Tiers: The term “upper tiers”, is a term I use to easily define the
wealthiest regions of the world. North America, Western Europe, Australia,
New Zealand, and some of wealthy Asian countries are considered upper
tiers. I classify these wealthy nations into one group because they all share
a few common characteristics. For example, they hold most of the worlds
wealth. They all share in economic prosperity. Because of their prosperity,
these regions/nations also share a male-female dynamic that favors the
females.
Lower Tiers: The lower tiers are the opposite of the upper tiers in many
respects. The lower tiers are the regions of world that are considered
developing economies. These regions include Latin America, South East
Asia, Eastern Europe and Africa. These regions all share economic
similarities but they also share similarities in a male-female dynamic that
favors the males. When any many steps into the lower tiers, he
automatically inherits a certain level of power and leverage.
Power and Leverage: Power and leverage refers to an inherent power
you will gain simply by stepping foot into a lower tier environment. Most
lower tier nations will give you a great amount of power and leverage
over the opposite sex.
Ok. Now that you know the basics, let’s get started… Throughout the past few
years of traveling, research and interaction with both men and women through
my trips, I’ve come to some very important realizations. I’m going to share those
realizations and insights with you now. In order to succeed on your new journey
of meeting foreign women, there are some very important things you should
know.
The upper tier nations all share in economic prosperity, but they also share
similarities in their cultures and social dynamics between men and women.
What I’ve found is that the most economically developed nations, in general,
have a social dynamic that favors the females. Factors such as immigration,
feminism, obesity, and prosperity, all contribute to a social dynamic, which
ultimately favors the females over the males.
In contrast to the upper tiers, the lower tiers have social dynamics that favor the
men to varying degrees. Whenever a man steps into a lower tier environment,
he automatically inherits this favorable dynamic. I like to say that this favorable
environment gives any male “power and leverage.” As a man, you will enjoy
varying degrees of power and leverage no matter where you go within the
lower tiers. In most of the places that you will probably be traveling to you will
enjoy a great amount of power and leverage.
Discussing all of the reasons behind your power and leverage in the lower tiers
is beyond the scope of this report, but let’s just take a quick look at immigration,
in order to get a better idea of how these factors change the male-female social
dynamic.
If you look at any group of immigrants, within any of the upper tier nations
you’ll find that there are more males then females within any immigrant
community. Now take into consideration that the world has experienced
migration within the tens of millions, over the past decades from the lower tier
nations to upper tier nations.
Whether we look at legal immigration through work visas, or illegal immigration
the numbers are astoundingly skewed. It’s mostly men that migrate to the
upper tiers from the lower tiers. This mass-migration of males has left the upper
tiers with a surplus of males, who happen to be in their reproductive prime,
most likely between the ages of 18-40.
If we look at the opposite side of this coin, we can see that just about anywhere
you go within the lower tiers, the ratios will favor the men, and one of main
reasons for this is because so many men have migrated to live in countries like
Spain, Canada, Australia, and The United States. Keep in mind, migration is just
one small slice of the power and leverage pie.
This brings me to my point. Just as the social dynamic favors females in the
upper tiers, the lower tiers favor men in many ways. Just as us men have been
fighting an uphill battle, in the battle of the sexes within the upper tiers, foreign
women have been fighting their own uphill battle in their own homelands.
Therefore it’s not difficult to see why we would both welcome each other with
open arms.
Many men notice that foreign women treat men better. Men from the upper
tiers, due to their upbringing and their conditioning, will often treat women
better then men from the lower tiers.
As a man traveling from the upper to the lower tiers, you will not only benefit
from an environment that benefits all the men in the region, but you will also
enjoy a few other benefits. As a traveler from the upper tiers, you will
automatically receive various positive perceptions just based on the language
you speak, how you dress, and where you’re coming from.
Some common perceptions include that you are: Educated, cultured, well off
(Not necessarily rich, but middle class), well mannered, etc. In general, foreign
women and most foreign people will have high perceptions of you.
In truth, foreign women think very highly of the men from the upper tiers.

Read Full Post »

Posted by Marco as a member of the Happy Bachelors Forum. Marco was a member briefly as he posted some great articles in HBF and he says it right about his description of  feminine women especially outside the Anglosphere.

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I would say finding a feminine woman in the West is like finding a needle in a haystack. Feminine women used to be common during our grandparents age but then feminism come around the late 60s and women either abandon or haven’t been taught to be feminine.

Best chances to find a feminine woman is outside the West be it in Latin America, Southeast Asia, or Eastern Europe(more east the better like the Former Soviet Republics).

hxxp://toronto.en.craigslist.ca/tor/rnr/1188735055.html

A feminine woman has the effect of a sunrise on a man’s soul.

In the words of novelist Alex Waugh, she draws a man “into a magic circle where everything is fresher, cleaner; where there is peace, warmth, comfort. She produces in him the desire to be his best.”

Nothing on earth is so fine. On this continent, increasingly nothing is so rare.

The Official State Gender Ideology, feminism, has decreed that femininity is a “stereotype” invented by men to oppress women.

Feminism is no longer about equal opportunity for women. It is a thuggish, devious synthesis of Marxism and lesbianism used by ruling elites to undermine individuals and weaken society. It is to society what AIDS is to the body.

But men are also to blame. We have accepted the feminist lie that women should be independent and pursue careers. We have abandoned the many gentle and loving women who instinctively want to build their lives around a man. We have pursued the busy, neurotic, overachievers who guarantee us heartbreak, divorce and broken family.

By pursuing these women, we are really seeking our own lost masculinity. Many of us are happy to evade the responsibility of earning a living, and taking charge of a family. In either case we are condemning ourselves to frustration and arrested development.

For heterosexuals to find fulfillment, each sex must assume its instinctive part. The sex act is a metaphor: The man’s spirit pervades the female and they become one. The male spirit must be active and the female receptive.

Many men ignore willing, feminine women who can provide Wholeness. These women cannot thrive, we cannot thrive, unless we recognize, defend and love them.

What is a feminine woman?

1. A feminine woman is motivated by love of husband and children. She is the heart of the family, devoted to her husband and children’s well being. This is her career. A woman who is preoccupied with another demanding career cannot pay attention to her family. Love is mainly paying attention. There is a New Yorker cartoon where a child is wearing a welder’s mask and using a blowtorch to write, “I need love” on the living room wall. His mother says to her friend: “He’s just doing that to get attention.”
2.

A feminine woman may have another career but it is her second priority. She is not driven by personal ambition. I liked the movie “Legally Blonde” because the heroine showed that she could excel in the work world but why bother? She had a more important goal: a husband and family.

Career is a feminist lie. Since when are careers the source of human fulfillment? What is so great about being an Assistant Loan Manager at a bank? Is society expected to provide legions of eager feminists with “fulfilling” careers to compensate for their loveless lives?
3. Feminists are teaching women to be “strong and independent.” This is not feminine. Men respond to a woman’s need. We want to rescue the damsel in distress and to win her favors. This archetype is also innate in women. She wants to be enlisted by a man.

A feminine woman DEPENDS on a man. This doesn’t mean she is an emotional waif. She is competent but she doesn’t pretend to be independent. Men and women need each other to be whole. As long as I have my wife, I am self-sufficient. So is she.
4. Just as the woman is the heart of the family, the man is the head and shoulders. A feminine woman is her husband’s partner. They make decisions together but he has the last word. Men must be the visionaries, captains and navigators. A woman’s most important decision is the man she chooses to love and marry.

5. A feminine woman is reserved. She wants a man to pay attention to “her” so she doesn’t flaunt her sexuality. A woman wants to be loved more than anything in the world. She wants to be “known” in all her divinity. This happens when she is truly loved. Is it a coincidence the Bible uses the word “know” as in Abraham “knew” Sarah, to speak of sexual intercourse? All women are beautiful when they are loved. Women’s liberation has taught women to pursue sex for its own sake, as though they were men. This is not feminine. If a man prefers a new car, why would he marry a “used” woman? He doesn’t want a car that’s been driven by a lot of men. He doesn’t know where it’s been, what damage has been done. He will choose a brand new car. In my wife’s words: “A man wants to be a woman’s first lover; a woman wants to be his last.”
6.

I’m not saying all women should save their virginity until marriage but certainly sex should be reserved for honest, loving long term relationships. Men need to stop looking for sex and start looking for the right woman. That’s the only guarantee of sex anyway.

If men chose wives with the same attention as cars, more marriages would succeed. Women are the vehicles to the future, in terms of emotional fulfillment and family. If men knew where they wanted to go, they would choose women who would get them there. They would not be blinded by sex.
7. A feminine woman tries to please the man she loves. No, this has not been outlawed, it just seems that way. A feminine woman generates love by giving love. She empowers her man by believing in him. Love is expressed in actions and effort. Baking a pie is an act of love. So is making the home beautiful. Are we so blind, impoverished and demoralized that we cannot appreciate this? Why have we allowed feminists to stigmatize homemaking? Women would be more than happy to be homemakers if it received the recognition and appreciation that it deserves.

A feminine woman has grace, beauty and wisdom. These all come from staying in touch with her spirit and not pursuing an exhausting career that requires masculine qualities.

On the “Oprah” Show, I saw three young women interviewed about the “quarter-life” crisis. They were having trouble getting their careers on track and because of their families’ expectations they were falling apart.

Oprah urged these girls to “follow their instincts.” No one mentioned that for women in their early twenties, “following their instincts” might entail having a baby. No one is following their instincts any more. They are doing what feminists tell them to do.

It’s time men started listening to their instincts too. We want to be the masters of our domain. We want to love and possess (“pay attention,” “know”) our wives. We want to create families that are loving, lively and happy. It’s time we embraced the quiet, unassuming beautiful women who want to be our help mates.

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Posted by Evergreen, a former great member of the Happy Bachelors Forum(HBF) who expatriated out of the Anglosphere as he posted many great articles in the forum. Enjoy.

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Found this in Craigslist that sums up we know all along about marriage in many areas in North America. Read on below(btw. link is dead).

hxxp://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/595772923.html
Marriage Strike.. The only REAL way to avoid …..

Expensive fees affiliated with divorce. Sooner or later, you will fall out of love. Whether it’s cheating, together too long, boredom etc.. Nomatter HOW you slice it, it comes up peanuts! Save your money for the next relationship!

Don’t listen to the “Relationship Specialists” on CL.. They actually admit they’re divorced, some more than once, cheating or cheated, going after their significant other for child support etc etc… The ONLY way to win is NOT to play Protect your bank account. This will create lots of angry rebuttals which proves women are after your money.. :)

Thanks & have a nice day! >=)

Enjoy!! :)

“Why Men Won’t Commit”:

Exploring Young Men’s Attitudes About Sex, Dating and Marriage,” a study released by researchers Barbara Dafoe Whitehead and David Popenoe of the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, concludes that men are, indeed, more apprehensive about getting married than before.

“The median age of first marriage for men has reached 27, the oldest age in our nation’s history,” Mr. Popenoe remarked in the Washington Times. “If this trend of men waiting to marry continues, it is likely to clash with the timing of marriage and childbearing for the many young women who hope to marry and bear children before they begin to face problems associated with declining fertility,” he continued. You know this is a collegiate study when an examination of a trend that is affecting men is used to fret about the state of women.

The study contains several possible explanations for this phenomenon, based on interviews with 60 single men, 25 to 33, who live in four parts of the country. While that level of measurement certainly is not statistically significant enough to reflect any kind of a national trend, responses generally revolved around the possibilities of suffering huge losses if the marriage ends in divorce. (“An ex-wife will take you for all you’ve got” and “men have more to lose financially than women” were common
refrains, the study reports.)

To humor the study’s results for a few minutes, let’s examine whether or not these young men’s concerns are justified. If we accept the old feminist argument that marriage is slavery for women, then it is undeniable that — given the current state of the nation’s family courts — divorce is slavery for men.

Take a hypothetical husband who marries and has two children. There is a 50 percent likelihood that this marriage will end in divorce within eight years, and if it does, the odds are 2-1 it will be the wife who initiates the divorce. It may not matter that the man was a decent husband. The reality of the situation is that few divorces are initiated over abuse or because the man has already abandoned the family. Nor is adultery cited as a factor by divorcing women appreciably more than by divorcing men.

The new trend that has taken hold of the court system is what as known as the “no fault” divorce, in which the filing party needs only to cite their general discontent with the marriage in order to be granted a hearing. Women initiate these unilateral divorces-on-demand 3 times as often as men.

While the courts may grant the former spouses joint legal custody, the odds are nearly 40 to 1 of the wife winning physical custody. Overnight, the husband, accustomed to seeing his kids every day and being an integral part of their lives, will now be lucky if he is allowed to see them even one day out of the week.

Once the couple is divorced, odds are at least even that the wife will interfere with the husband’s visitation rights. Three-quarters of divorced men surveyed say their ex-wives have interfered with their visitation, and 40 percent of mothers studied admitted that they had done so, and that they had generally acted out of spite or in order to punish their exes.

Then, of course, there is the issue of financial losses due to court-imposed payments. In the end (99 times out of 100), the wife will keep most of the couple’s assets and –if they jointly own one — the house. The husband will need to set up a new residence and pay at least a third of his take-home pay to his ex in child support, on top of whatever alimony payments the courts impose upon him. These can run as high as another third of his income. (Add the cost of taxes to that and the man gets to keep exactly 13% of his take-home pay — he’d better pray that’s enough to keep him alive.)

But as bad as all of this is, it would still make our hypothetical man one of the lucky ones. After all, he could be one of those fathers who cannot see his children at all because his ex has made a false accusation of domestic violence, child abuse, or child molestation. Or a father who can only see his own children under supervised visitation or in nightmarish visitation centers where dads are treated like criminals.

He could be one of those fathers whose ex has moved their children hundreds or thousands of miles away, in violation of court orders, which courts often do not enforce. He could be one of those fathers who tears up his life and career again and again in order to follow his children, only to have his ex-wife continually move them.

He could be one of the fathers who has lost his job, seen his income drop, or suffered a disabling injury, only to have child support arrearages and interest pile up to create a mountain of debt which he could never hope to pay off. Or a father who is forced to pay 70 percent or 80 percent of his income in child support because the court has imputed an unrealistic income to him. Or a dad who suffers from one of the child support enforcement system’s endless and difficult to correct errors, or who is jailed because he cannot keep up with his payments. Or a dad who reaches old age impoverished because he lost everything he had in a divorce when he was middle-aged and did not have the time and the opportunity to earn it back. Our imaginary man might consider himself lucky if he knew what his life could have been.

Over five million divorced men in America are currently experiencing the situation I just outlined. Without a doubt, their stories and experiences are heard by unmarried men. Can anyone truly blame the men for having apprehension? They stand to gain little and lose everything they’ve worked for in their entire lives should they “take the plunge”, so to speak.

So ladies, if you have a problem with this, speak to your feminist brethren. This is the legacy which they have left behind. By erasing the stigma of premarital sex and encouraging physical liberation, they have eliminated one of the most powerful incentives in history for men to tie the knot. By advocating government as a surrogate husband in the case of single motherhood, they have eliminated the disincentive for women to file for divorce. And through decades of litigious activism, they have given rise to the bloated and intrusive family court system and stacked it so egregiously against the men of this country that it now appears they are subconsciously engaging in what could be called a “marriage strike”, preferring to play the odds rather than assume a massively disproportionate amount of risk.

As for the men, make no mistake, they are slowly beginning to realize that the power is now in their favor. They have more and more perfectly legitimate reasons for remaining unmarried every day. Given a choice between not marrying one’s lady friend — assuming no risk whatsoever and still having the historical benefits of marriage (sex, companionship, etc.) available to them, or marrying the woman and having a 50-50 chance of their lives being utterly destroyed should the woman so much as be “unhappy” with the marriage, the decision is a no-brainer. What women perceive as a “fear of commitment” is really nothing more than a pragmatic assessment of the odds facing men in the prospect of a marriage.

Therefore, the trends evident in this study are not much of a surprise. I would wager that if the study were conducted nationally, similar results would be produced. Of course, such a study would invariably seek to address the grievances of the dejected single women of the country. My advice to them would be simple: offer to sign a prenuptial agreement that outlines the exact terms of a possible divorce: how assets would be divided, how any alimony and child support would be handled, and other vital elements that may be causing apprehension. And don’t be insulted if your potential mate asks you to sign one, or if he desires terms that will be equitable to him. No matter how strong your love may be for one another, the demand for eligible bachelors willing to commit to marriage is currently exceeding the supply, and if you won’t sign it, odds are that there’s another woman out there who will.

A ‘marriage strike’ is the social phenomenon of men seeking to avoid marriage. The ‘marriage strike’ specifically refers to the action of men living within the Western world. Advocates of the marriage strike believe that after a considered cost-benefit analysis, the legal contract that is modern marriage no longer represents an attractive option for men living in the West’s changed legal, economic, sociological, cultural and demographic environment.

Introduction To “Marriage Strike”. The HOT New Alternative to Marriage!!
Advocates of the marriage strike believe that marriage is unfair and consequently men are avoiding marriage. They hold that through the combination of laws permitting no-fault divorce and prevailing conditions in divorce courts that are substantially more likely to favor the wife over the husband in disputes over child custody, visitation rights, ownership of the family residence and other shared property, child support, and alimony. It is possible for a woman to divorce her husband unilaterally while simultaneously depriving him of the right to see his offspring and financially crippling him. They argue that since the divorce rate is high, and since women are more likely than men to seek no-fault divorce, scenarios like the above are a likely outcome of marriage, and that many men, fearing such an outcome, choose not to marry.

There have been numerous studies showing that a range of 60 to 93 percent of no-fault divorces in the United States were initiated by women, usually against a man who works a blue-collar job, for grounds cited as “emotional unfulfillment.”

Legal Causations of Emerging Western Marriage Strike
Divorce Penalty
Marriage, while being publicly understood as a union between man and woman, is also a legal contract. On divorce, the deems that a legal contract is considered broken, and legal consequences come into effect. There is a dissolution of the previously shared financial assets of the married couple. Assets are divided for distribution to both parties by a court ruling. Typically, a woman will receive 50% ownership of the couple’s assets on initiation of divorce. These assets include property, housing, vehicles, savings, and investments.

No-fault divorce
No-fault divorce is divorce in which the dissolution of a marriage does not require fault of either party to be shown, or, indeed, any evidentiary proceedings at all. It occurs on petition to the court, typically a family court by either party, without the requirement that the petitioner show fault on the part of the other party. Either party may request, and receive, the dissolution of the marriage, despite the objections of the other party.

Divorce and Children
In the Western world, family law is structurally more likely to award child custody to a child’s mother in the case of divorce. This legal situation results in fathers often having very limited access to their children after divorce. In an attempt to balance the rights and needs of the mother, father, and children, courts may award a couple joint custody of their children after divorce.

Male Alternatives to Marriage
Cohabitation Without Marriage
Proponents of the marriage strike advise that men should simply cohabit (live with a girlfriend), and not actually marry. Living with a girlfriend presents a legally safer alternative, with marriage’s benefits to men, with a reduction in the penalties found within marriage.

De-facto Law:

However, it should be noted that family law can also be applied in some Western nations (e.g. Australia, Brazil etc) to de-facto relationships such as these. After a certain length of time, the breakup of a non-marriage, live-in relationship can legally result in a man losing his assets to his ‘de-facto wife’, as considered by the law. In addition, a man would still be liable to pay child support (which is often at punitive levels) for any children he has with his live-in girlfriend.

Pre-nuptial Agreement
A prenuptial agreement, commonly abbreviated to ‘prenup’, is a contract entered into by two people prior to marriage. The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but commonly includes provisions for the division of property should the couple divorce and any rights to spousal support during or after the dissolution of marriage.

Prenuptial agreements are not always fully recognized by law in case of divorce; in Britain, they are not recognised at all. Prenuptial agreements are, at best, a partial solution to obviating some of the risks of marital property disputes in times of divorce. They are not the final word.

When making a prenuptial agreement in the US, many individuals identify the duration of the contract because, in some states, prenups expire after 10 years unless otherwise specified.

Foreign Women
Full article: Mail-order bride

Another form of the marriage strike is to single out only American women, or women from any English-speaking country (such as the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, or New Zealand) for shunning. English-speaking women are characterized as rude, aloof, selfish, brainwashed by feminism. Instead, such marriage strikers encourage men to marry women from other, usually developing, countries. Most often mentioned countries are Latin American, Eastern European, or Asian countries, such as the Philippines, Thailand, Japan, Mexico, Colombia, Brazil, Russia, Ukraine and Poland. They state that such women are more likely to appreciate marriage than American women and are much less likely to divorce. Some even go so far as to urge the men to move to the other country and live there rather than bring the foreign wife back to the United States, in case she gets “infected” by feminist ideas; citing horror stories of foreign women using the man for a green card and ripping him off.

In 2005, the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act was passed, placing restrictions on visas given to women who meet an American man through an online dating service. Many marriage strikers have assailed the law as an attempt to protect American women from foreign competition, as a sort of “love tariff”. In fact, despite the term “mail-order bride”, most marriages between American men and foreign women do not use “mail-order bride” services. However, IMBRA can come into effect from any online correspondence, not just through a dating service.

I will go one step further and differentiate between Western women vs. non-Western women. This is not just an American phenomenon; most women in Western countries have that cold, bitchy, superficial, stuck up attitude. Many Western women hold themselves as the pure center of the relationship. If the men do not fit a rigid and unrealistic criteria or she doesn’t feel the man can take care of her enough (even if she has a higher paying job) then she will drop him like a hot potato, regardless of his character or commitment to the relationship.

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Guys, if you ever been pressured to marry but don’t want to go here http://happybachelor.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=divorce

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My first post of this blog dedicated to being and living a life as a happy bachelor. The Happy Bachelors Forum is for all bachelors and MGTOW(Men Going Their Own Way).

http://happybachelor.proboards.com

The Administrator of Happy Bachelors.

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