Written by newer member of HBF, garvan as the thread is in the Best of Happy Bachelors http://happybachelor.proboards.com/index.cgi?board=best&action=display&thread=5531
Why Marriage Is Never Coming Back
Before the modern age we lived in a time where resources were tough to come by, work needed muscle, and the threat of death by ANYTHING was large, people banded together for their own mutual survival.
Marriage was one of the ways that humans banded together.
Marriage wasn’t perfect, but it enabled a man and a woman to maximize their survival potential. This wasn’t a time where the big problems were coming home fifteen minutes late and missing your favourite show. Hell this wasn’t even a time where because dinner wasn’t made you might go hungry for a day. This was a time where at any moment you could die, a wild animal, an unknown disease, drought, a falling rock, or even another human. Life was not something taken for granted.
Marriage wasn’t happiness. Marriage was survival. Marriage was optimal in many ways. Marriage provided ways of passing wealth down biological lineage, support, and created new members in a society or tribe in a time where there were much less human beings.
Technology changed everything.
Those of us in the western world no longer have worry about our daily bread. We no longer need someone to wash our clothes. We no longer need protection from many of the problems of the past. While many of us work longer hours than many of our ancestors, we no longer need to work to survive.
Homeless people don’t starve en masse, I can’t say it’s the healthiest living, but it’s a hell of a lot better than living through some of the periods in which ANY food would have been a blessing. I myself know many homeless men and women who manage to get by through pan handling, soup kitchens, and charity work. What can I say, I get along quite well with street urchin.
This is of course not even taking into account the mass of people on welfare or disability.
We no longer live in a world where we need interpersonal relationships for physical survival. Marriage was no longer needed for daily survival.
Marriage, which once required for survival had become outdated. I can’t necessarily place when our technology had made our co-dependence unnecessary, however it most likely happened without us truly realizing it. The change wouldn’t have even been noticeable to most… it would have simply manifested itself as more free time to be spent how an individual wished.
People however were quite stuck in their ways and traditions. Marriage was still looked upon as an ideal to live to, even as more and more technology was given to the masses to free up more of their time.
We even got to a point where as humans, we had so MUCH free time we didn’t know how to spend it all. Television, video games, and all sorts of other media came out to entertain us as now BOREDOM became a larger worry than being killed.
In truth, marriage isn’t natural. It was survival optimization. Humans are masters of bending nature to suit our own survival.
In previous eras, hunting was the optimal way of getting food. If you were hungry, you’d better make damn sure you caught something, even a squirrel… even if it took hours.
If you went out in today’s world with a sharp stick and spent eight hours to kill some squirrels for a bit of nibbling, not only would people think you’re weird, you’d probably think yourself as an idiot since you could’ve easily spent those eight hours working to get some food at the store, and still have tons left over.
We’re now in the age where marriage is as optimal as hunting squirrels with a stick.
For women, survival really ISN’T dependant on a man. Though most women would much rather have a man give them stuff, women recognize they’re not going to die from not having a man around.
Most women truly weren’t meant for marriage, and that’s fine. It wasn’t their nature, as many studies have shown. Their nature in regards to men was hypergamous. But starvation, death and rape fears, not being able to raise their children due to lack of support… those sorts of things can make a woman repress her nature. Under the threat of death, a person will do many things that go against their nature. Mind you, a lot of the reason a woman is even able to do what she does now is because of the government’s laws giving her tons of advantage and support by taking it from hard working men… but now a woman doesn’t need any particular man as long as the masses subsidise her. Women only worked at making marriage work when they knew they’d be dead without it.
Now that marriage isn’t needed for survival, women can finally indulge in their true nature, and have been doing so by riding the cock carousel like we see now.
Men on the other hand are only adapting now.
A man is no longer are NEEDED to support any one woman. Any additional support that a man gives is taken for granted as really, she doesn’t have any immediate fears of being killed. However, men are still stuck in the same mating strategy of using support and their ability to provide to get women through marriage. It’s a strategy that may have worked when women were actually afraid of dying without a man… but the threat of death is no longer imminent enough to make a provider desirable.
Now it’s our turn to fucking realize, marriage is an outdated sub-optimal mating strategy, especially when women are more worried about being bored than being killed. As even common men, we’ve certainly got options (more so than ANY TIME in history), the question is what one will make you happy?
Game allows us to mate through giving women what they emotionally want. Mastery allows all access to a plethora of women.
Prostitution and escorts allow us to trade money (which some of us have in abundance) and trade it for an even greater plethora of women, minus the bitching and effort game requires.
Then for those who refuse to adapt and find happiness in this new system there are some countries which are still far enough behind where marriage is an optimal survival strategy. You can always find companionship there.
There’s the ghost option. Some people work best alone, and some of the greatest minds of our civilization never married or had sex.
Some others still have taken the virtual route, like in Japan with love pillows and dating sims, or in North America with real dolls. In next 50 years, the perfect robot companion may be waiting at home to serve you dutifully and make you happy.
Yeah, maybe civilization is crumbling. Maybe we’re reaching a new level. I’m not certain where the future is going… all I know is that I WANT TO MAKE ME HAPPY. Now, that marriage doesn’t make life easier, and women don’t NEED it, I don’t have to worry about anyone else but myself.
I can choose to live my life in my own choosing, and have little worries of death the same way my ancestors did, and that’s an awesome thing.
Now, are you going to hunt fucking squirrels with a goddamn stick caveman, or are you going to use the ability of adaptation like your ancestors before you had use to survive, and figure out what works for this time period for the survival of your own happiness?
The way is yours to choose.