Written by toddturner in HBF. MGTOW means Men Going Their Own Way.
We often reflect that MGTOW delivers benefits in monetary terms. I have recently reflected upon another benefit: the second childhood.
I am now 42 and I went through puberty around 30 years ago. When I was 11 or 12, my life was a series of fun hobbies: backyard baseball, building model airplanes, fishing, coin and stamp collecting, etc. Basically nerdy stuff from a female perspective.
Then puberty hit, and I completely reordered my life in the pursuit of women. Whether consciously or unconsciously, all my major decisions were impacted by the question: “Is this going to make me more or less attractive to women?” The specifics aren’t important, but I engaged in numerous behaviors and activities that I didn’t enjoy—simply because they increased my chances of getting laid and winning female approval.
This continued through my twenties, with the attendant stress and wasted time. Women even dominated my leisure activity choices, as they do for many men. To cite one specific example: How many guys really enjoy going out to nightclubs? But most of us have been there because that is where the women are. Women enjoy those vacuous environments because there they can be the center of attention.
I gradually drifted into an MGTOW lifestyle from age 30 forward, after having some relationships with women and coping with their constantly evolving needs and desires. As I’ve shared on here before, my sex drive isn’t exhausted yet, and I do make occasional use of escort services (who are generally cheaper and nicer than their non-commercial counterparts). However, I haven’t been on a “date” since 2001. I don’t go out of my way to offend women, but nor do I worry about impressing them anymore.
What I have discovered is that the long dormant and suppressed 12-year-old is coming out again. By this I don’t mean childish behavior; but the simple enthusiasm for hobbies and interests that are only possible *before* you start to notice women.
I have also rediscovered male friendships–another facet of life before puberty. I’m not talking about anything queer here, but simply the fact that male friendships are often neglected when men hit puberty and the pursuit of women becomes the priority.
I actually have less stress in my life at 42 than I did at 25 or 30. By contrast, my married friends are constantly stressed and financially strapped. In addition, few of them enjoy sex very much with their middle-aged spouses.
Obviously, I wish I could have connected these dots thirty years ago. But better late than never, I suppose.